“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39
I think I finally understand what Jesus felt at the Garden of Gethsemane. For years I’ve been praying this prayer whenever I encounter a difficulty. Only tonight did I see it in a different light. Since the beginning of the school year, I have felt pretty burden free, especially about Seekers. I knew that there would be bumps along the way, and I knew that in the end, the battle would be won. But what I am afraid of going through now is the process. For a while now, I’ve been anticipating that decline I knew that was going to happen. The period of time where I start to doubt and stress and stuff.
I think in trying to avoid a repeat of last year is turning this into a repeat of last year; but on a different level. Right now I feel like I’m stuck in the same position as a year ago. Only this time, my decision would really affect a lot of different things. I wish I had the heart to quit certain things; I wish I didn’t invest so much of myself into so many different things. With stuff like this, God has to force a way to take control. So here I am, praying this prayer again. I’m not as desperate this time, but I’m starting to recognize why Jesus prayed this way. And in a sense, being able to identify with him this way makes what is coming even harder. I realize that I can either make a big sacrifice, or take a giant leap of faith. Either way I’m sure God will use it for good. The only question is, what do I choose to do?
And then here is where that prayer comes in. Not by my will, but YOURS.
Not mine, but Yours.
One thought on “Gethsemane”
Leave it to God, Sam.
It’s time we let go and let God.
I know God has amazing things in store for all of you.