I finally got around to taking my permit test today with Kim Chin. After all this stalling, I realized that the fee I had to pay at my age was actually more than what I would’ve paid if I took it at 16. Fail. We got there at 8:30 because that was the time the DMV opens and we really wanted to avoid the long lines. There was still a line when we got there, but things moved along pretty smoothly. By the time we came out at 9:30, the lines tangled into a maze. Kim commented on the fact that we were probably the only two people not complaining about the lines because of her extremely bad experiences with waiting on lines this summer. We got out a lot earlier than we expected, so we ended up going over to IHOP for some food. It’s been years, literally years, since I last went into IHOP. I’ve forgotten how delicious breakfast food is. It’s also been a really long while since I got to hang out with K.Chin, so that was definitely a highlight.
So some people have been going a little crazy about this Hurricane Earl warning effect. I woke up this morning expecting really gloomy forecast, instead I woke up to lots of sunshine and birds chirping. So much for a hurricane. It’s a little surreal for me to think about the fact that I am only one weekend away from entering my senior year in high school. Where did all the time go? I have thought about where I wanted to go for college, and my mind is pretty set. I do feel bad however, because Emerson College was the school that Jeff wanted to go to but we couldn’t afford. For most of my life now, I’ve kind of just been following his footsteps and taking up after him. I’ve always wondered if he ever feels annoyed at the fact that I just “copy” him. We always talk about how he knows me inside out because he “made” me. Anyways, I want to apply to Emerson for a different program, but if I end up going there it’ll feel like I got to achieve the dream he couldn’t achieve. Initially when I found out it wasn’t a campus school, I took a double-take because I feel like part of the college experience is getting to walk on the green pastures of your college campus. But there are so many other campuses surrounding Emerson up in Boston, that I can pretty much just stroll onto any colleges at my choice.
Tonight we reestablished our accountability groups for the coming school year. Once again, Becca’s in my group. The thing is, we kind of considered her as someone who isn’t “part of” YG because of her inconsistent attendance. I feel like people can say a lot about the fact that I don’t approach her about reexamining her life and priorities. It’s not that I’m afraid of how she will receive it, it’s more of the fact that I’m afraid of how much struggle and pain it will bring me to have to say that to one of the closest friends I’ve ever had. The reason why I felt like we’ve drifted apart is because sometimes although I know her pursuit in her faith is genuine, sometimes she jokes about it just a little too much and it can actually cause some distraction. I don’t know how to communicate that without feeling like I’m tearing a piece of my heart out. There was a little spark during fellowship today, when Keith asked a question about the accuracy of the genealogy as presented in the Bible, apparently he said very strongly that finding out the truth about it could “make or break” his faith. Some times I feel like we’re a little too harsh with him, but at the same time I feel like there is a need to. He has a good heart, he really does. He’s just very hard-headed even if it doesn’t really show. In all honesty, I feel like he has a lot of pride which makes it even harder to get things through into his head. I have such a hard time communicating with him because I feel like it just goes in to one ear and comes out the other. And that’s extremely frustrating because I know that if it actually sticks in his head and makes enough of an impact, he can actually do a lot and grow deeper in his faith. But sometimes when I converse with him, I feel like I have to break through a brick wall to actually get to him. I actually need to mentally prepare myself when I talk to him so I don’t burst out in rage. I know it sounds really harsh to say, but tonight when I saw how insistent he was, a part of me felt sympathetic because people tried to push him down too much, but at the same time he has yet to understand the true meaning of things. The reason why I told him point blank that I would question the existence of his faith is because if in the end, the receiving of one’s salvation is affected because they found out that the Bible has very confusing facts and many loose ends, then I would question the reason why they’re even remotely interested in this faith.
CHRISTIANITY IS NOT A RELIGION, IT’S A RELATIONSHIP
I understand if he felt disparaged by all our stances against him, but it was totally unnecessary to have things turn out the way it did. I don’t know if anyone was pointing fingers at anyone else today, I may very well be guilty of doing so, but calling someone who is very calmly trying to explain their view “ignorant” was unnecessary. It’s a debate about Jesus’ line of ancestry for goodness sake. Would our salvation have changed if we didn’t know who Joseph’s father was?
What matters is the He paid the price so that all of us could have a chance at eternity with Him, let’s stop looking at the insignificant facts and just accept it. That’s not being ignorant, that’s called having FAITH.