Distant Memory

There was an event that happened in my life several years ago that really shook me to my core. Through the passing time, the wound healed and I can genuinely say that what’s done is done. I have forgiven the people I needed to forgive, and I have accepted the facts for what they are. In the recent days, I realized that although I have forgiven the people, I have never really discussed what happened with them. I guess a part of me felt that it wasn’t necessary anymore since I finally got over that giant mountain. I buried that memory with my old self, and it has become just a distant memory. Sometimes I find myself still thinking about that time, but in a different light. This time around, I considered all the people and all the factors that played a part in this tragic episode of my life.

Learning to let go the past was an intensive and grueling process. But now I am starting to think that perhaps, the other people who were involved haven’t gotten over it and my distant memory still rings true in their lives. Over the summer, I came close to unwrapping the unresolved discussion with a friend about what had happened. Just when it felt like we were getting somewhere, the conversation quickly died and we moved onto other things. See the way I look at it, because I have come into terms with the situation, it is no longer something that I need to approach the others about. I have never shared my side of the story, so the people didn’t know that their actions caused so much hurt within me; and even though they have never apologized (well, because they didn’t know!), I have already forgiven the past. What is finally hitting me is that I never knew for sure how the incident impacted the lives of the others involved. Maybe to this day, they still lie awake in bed thinking about it, who knows.

I feel like I have one last duty to perform before I can really put this incident away on that box resting on my bottom shelf. I know I feel like I’m over it. And truthfully, I really am. But maybe what’s left to do now, is to help the others get over it.

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